Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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