so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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