I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
