oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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