Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
