its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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