they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
