His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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