I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
