We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize