i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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