Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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