Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize