she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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