well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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