apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
