Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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