just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
