Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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