Having a random hookup so left but love u
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize