Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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