I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
It's Friday. Sex?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
