the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
