that's an acceptable place to lick
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm both gender and math confused
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
