I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
