I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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