operation harelip BJ is a go
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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