on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I feel like abortions should bother me more
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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