just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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