you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
