6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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