i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
