She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize