whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize