I think i peed on brittanys purse
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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