well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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