woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize