She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Your cock deserves a montage
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
