when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
