accomplished twins. life is a go
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize