There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
