im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
