then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
