I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
