I'm gonna have a badass scar
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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