We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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