I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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