I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize