i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
