If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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