i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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