Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize