I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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