nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
