I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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