Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
