the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
