Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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