I cockslap morals
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
