Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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