sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
