so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
