would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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