Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
