oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
