Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
