That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
