Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
