i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just found puke in my bra..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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