Cold hands, warm shart.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
