I wannas sexs uuuuu
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
