i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
