Someone shit on the floor
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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