So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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