Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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