Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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