I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize