Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
